There are very few seasons in life that allow you to fully reset. Time to reflect about who you are on an emotional and physical level. Those resets occur in times such as moving into your college dorm, your first day at work post-college, or for some, a career sabbatical. For many, that full reset can occur in the midst of parenthood. 

As I prepared last year to take my 12-weeks of parental leave and have my first baby, I idealized the type of leader and parent that I wanted to leave and return. I dreamed how I wanted to be the all-around leader: Sr. Director of Operations by day, mom by night, loving spouse. I planned that I would have my baby according to my timeline and not a moment early.  However, March 18, 2025, came earlier than I anticipated. I went into labor and realized I had to trust that I had prepared the team with everything they needed to succeed. On that day, I experienced the swiftest de-construction and reconstruction of my values and identity. 

My identity that had been based on exceeding performance metrics and daily output of work, met a jarring stop as I transitioned to a new definition of success: a properly secured diaper, a baby who slept in his own crib for the first night, and of course the mom and baby solo plane ride. 

Over the course of the next few months, between late night feeds and rocking chair lullabies, I thought a lot about how the type of leader I am at work translates directly into my home. My once self-proclaimed superpower of multitasking was now evidence of my inability to live in the moment and soak in all of the details of my newborn child. When becoming a parent, I hadn’t magically gained any more hours in the day, and so my intentionality with my time needed to deepen. 

On the other hand, the skills I always desired, like speaking up even when it makes me uncomfortable, transformed naturally. I found myself voicing my ideas and opinions without hesitation, like “we don’t kiss newborn babies in 2025”. I learned to grow a thicker skin and stand-firm when hearing phrases like “back in my day” and “just one little kiss won’t hurt.” 

Over my 12-weeks on parental leave, I thought about who I was, and who I wanted to become, for myself and for my family. Upon my return to work, I learned to put into practice what I constantly preached, but hardly enforced; boundaries of not logging back on after dinner, a willingness to say “no” and being honest about the level of work one-person can accomplish in a day with fidelity. 

However, this comes not just from the internal work I have done on my own, but from a team that is willing to allow me to grow and change, both at home and in the workplace. There is joy to be found in a team where you have the ability to grow.

I was fortunate enough to come back to a team who allowed me the space for my whole-self, not just the version they had worked with before."

When I began to practice the art of putting my Slack notifications on “pause” I found that my work hours were even more productive and at home I was able to be present.  They have held space for the opportunity to evolve into my new identity, which has directly impacted the type of leader and work I do. 

As I think about future parents preparing for leave, I believe there is still so much work that needs to be done: longer leave times, equitable support for parents regardless of gender, and leaders to be able to provide the space for all team members to feel able to return to work as their whole self, changes and all. 

As organizations are starting to decrease parental leave benefits across the nation, it’s an important time for leaders to stand-firm in the idea of supporting the individual. It is an organization’s responsibility as we continue to optimize and automate every function through the fast-paced world of AI to remember the humans who are in the organizations. Being surrounded by thoughtful and supportive peers helped shape me in meaningful ways, and that experience became a catalyst for the person I am today. 

Written by Sarah Witsken